Résumé: Under 10 minutes, get a list of field-tested strategies to build safety and reduce your triggers in relationships with others
Résultat principal: You avoid or reduce the impact of your triggers (Reptilian Brain) and the resulting stress and fears when you are meeting with others, and improve your relationship with others
Principaux avantages: Higher threshold for your triggers (so lower triggers less often); less stress; more authenticity, confidence and influence especially with others and under pressure
Prochaines étapes: Test each strategy 2X in the next 14 calendar days then decide to adjust/anchor/drop
Durée: <10 minutes.
Public cible: Anybody willing to reduce stress and anxiety and enjoy their day more
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Revue hebdomadaire
Conseils pour fixer des objectifs réalistes et atteignables, même dans des environnements à haute pression.
Many clients report feeling more triggered in the presence of others, especially in meetings with key stakeholders or with high stakes or potential hard discussions… When we ask our clients about safety and its impact on these triggers, at first they usually don’t relate that much…For them, it is all about forcing a change in their environment and spending more time, and money on it. But when they understand that 1) most of their anxiety, stress, fears, and inability to deliver their “Should” is driven by their Reptilian Brain triggering because it believes your Survival is at risk and that 2) Safety is the main driver to get it out of Survival Mode then they pay much more attention to Safety and usually are eager to understand how to build more of it.
After:
This post is meant to propose practical strategies that under 5 minutes can increase your feeling and level of safety in relationship with others. Of course, winning 50 M$ at the lottery would build a lot of safety and you would approach your CEO with less stress but the strategies we propose here are meant to be 100% under your control! With safety, less trigger for less time, therefore, less stress, more focus with more lightness so you feel better in meetings, especially when the pressure is on, and get better outcomes (more buy-in, commitment, support, influence…)
Top Strategies to build safety with others
For more strategies and examples for each strategy, refer to the attachment!
FAIRE
Set a 5 minute timer
Pick one of the proposed strategies
Follow the script and think about your next opportunity to apply it
As you visualize the experience, focus on:
how you feel below your throat as this is the language of safety (Reptilian Brain)
on the incremental and relative change for your emotions: it is more a marathon than a sprint
on what you have control over (what you say, your intention, how you listen…), which excludes others
Act on it now (book a meeting, send a note…) to commit yourself and anchor the memory at body level for a stickier habit
NE PAS FAIRE
Stay in your head! (Safety is an emotion therefore to be found in your guts and heart)
Forget that others have a Reptilian Brain that needs safety too (good news: Safety is contagious and the safety you build for yourself also helps others)
Spend too much time preparing… the value is in the doing and the emotional experience
Don’t disqualify it yet if I don’t feel a major change after the first time
Multi-task when I do any of the strategies
Deny or play down the power of my Reptilian Brain (remember it controls most of my stress)
Example
Video to be uploaded
Your next 2 weeks steps
Start NOW or schedule your first try:
Apply TO DO right away (<30 minutes)
Once done, decide your commitment for the next 2 weeks
How are you feeling right after? Compared to before? What was the value for you?
What to adjust for you to commit for 2 weeks?
Visualize the next time you apply it and how you would like to feel
Celebrate that you have tried something new
Build your habit (-> more practice -> more results)
Model: After [OTHER CURRENT HABIT] and at/when [TIME], I will [NEW HABIT] in [LOCATION].
Example: When I sit at my desk for the first time in the morning, I set a timer for 5 minutes, I visualize myself completing one strategy and feeling good about it; then I create a timeslot in my calendar with the details about this strategy; I read them and visualize myself practicing the strategy and feeling safer and less stress as a result.
Have applied at least 6X times in the next 2 weeks
What value you can expect:
Feel safer; Less stress or internal noise; You feel more efficient in meetings (more buy-in, commitment, support…) and that you are building stronger relationships
How to get started:
Print and fill your Habit template then apply right away
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