Break your trigger chain

After:

The Trigger Chain framework is meant to focus your actions in a practical and efficient way and reduce your triggers and the resulting deep emotions. It is supported by the metaphor of a chain: on one extremity of the chain, the root cause of your trigger; on the other, the consequences on you of the trigger; and if you break any link of the chain, you no longer trigger, no matter what the root cause. To keep it simple, the framework addresses the main 3 links of this chain.
As a result, you learn clear tactics to break these 3 links and manage the triggers; you feel relieved, like you let go of your negative emotions and you can focus more lightly in the present.

My vicious cycle is like a chain

Most of my unhealthy behaviors and triggers are created by a chain of behaviors and beliefs which when combined feed my vicious cycles and increase stress

The 3 mains links of my chain

1- Expectations: I create expectations that are not visible, conscious, achievable and which mainly depends on drivers I have no control over
2- Belief: I associate the delivery of these expectations and what I do/say/feel with who I am as a person
3- Reptilian Brain: When it triggers me, I am not aware that my Reptilian Brain is in power and I blame my clueless Rational Brain for not acting

If I can break any of the chain links, the chain loses its power and I get untriggered: therefore, I just need to break one!

Every time I feel triggered, I apply the following steps to break one link of the chain until I am untriggered:

• Expectations:

I labeled my current expectation after closing my eyes, having deeply breathed 2X, and answered What do I want? What will it do for me?”.
I reframe my expectations so it is:
– achievable in the time that I have available
– as much as possible under my exclusive control
– verbally agreed upon with others if the outcome relates to them

• Belief “I am what I do/say/feel”

Visualize a time when you felt great about yourself and visualize this memory of you giving you advice for the current situation.
Visualize what one of my loved ones would tell me if my worst-case scenario did happen.
Visualize me cutting with a pair of scissors the rope that links who I am to what I say/do/feel and me being left with one piece of the rope in each hand.
Think of a 20$ bill in your wallet: as worn out, damaged, or folded as it is, it is still worth 20$.

• Support my Reptilian Brain; If my guts feel uneasy, triggered:

I visualize my 5-year-old ME sitting on my lap feeling the same and my current ME cheering him up, with for example “I can see you are suffering and I feel sorry for that; we will be OK soon and I will love you no matter what you do, say or feel”
Apply a Break Routine
I accept that my Reptilian is triggered and that as a consequence, my Emotional and Rational Brain are currently not available to help and I remember that:
-my Reptilian triggers to save me because it believes I am in danger, not to be a pain to me
-as it worked before, by being curious to help and providing Safety, I can untrigger my Reptilian Brain and feel better
-I’d probably be dead by now if my Reptilian Brain had not triggered without asking in the past so I am thankful

When I apply this process:

My revised expectations feel achievable by me in the time I have and I feel confident that I will be successful, therefore I don’t trigger
I know I am still “good enough” no matter what the outcome of what I say/do/feel
I support my Reptilian to build safety and get untriggered until my Emotional and Rational Brains are back to help me

Set a 5 minute timer:

Close my eyes:

Expectations:

• Think of my main negative emotion in the last 24 hours;
• Assess what expectations were involved and
• Imagine what could have happened if I had reframed the expectations to
  1) make it visible,
  2) achievable in the time I had;
  3) in my exclusive control ;
  4) align with others’ expectations

Beliefs:

• Think of my main negative emotion in the last 24 hours;
• Think of what limiting beliefs could be at play, especially those that connect the delivery of a task to something much bigger like who I am as a person.
• Now assess what would have changed if I had learnt 2 days ago that I won the 50 M$ lottery.

Reptilian Brain:

• Think of my main negative emotion in the last 24 hours;
• Assess how my guts felt during the experience.
• Now think of what I would have liked to happen instead and
• Compare how the feelings in my guts change

Optional:

• Reflect on how I felt through the experience, my findings, and my questions.
• Record my next steps in my task backlog.
• Read the 3 Brain framework again to make it sink at Emotional and Reptilian levels.

Stop after this read as results will mainly come from deliberate practice (and trial and error)

Believe I “get it” because it “makes sense”: My Emotional and Reptilian Brains rarely make sense and that is better this way!

Focus on just one of the 3 as each of the 3 might work better than the other 2 depending on the situations.

Total time:

3m/day X 10 = 30 minutes in 2 weeks

How you measure success: 

You have applied at least 10X times in the next 2 weeks

What value you can expect: 

You have managed some triggers, your expectations are more achievable and therefore achieved; you get more wins and less stress

How to get started: 

Print and fill your Habit template then apply right away

Apply more often

Learn more:

on this subject
The 3 Brain framework
Reset Routine
Morning Visualization Routine
Evening Visualization Routine
Daily Planning Review